As most people know, open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. This is true for friendships, marriages, romances, or even working relationships. If you want to be able to have a steady, active, and healthy sexual relationship, you need to be able to speak freely with your partner about everything you want, hope for, and need from them to feel fulfilled.
1. How to Start Out
The first part you need to consider when communicating your desires to your partner is knowing exactly what your desires really are. Don’t just bring up this type of conversation without proper thought being put into it first. You want your talk to bring about change and enhancement of your relationship, so make sure you have a solid idea of what things are most important to you and allow your partner the same courtesy. Here are some things to think about:
● Who do you prefer to initiate?
● What positions feel the best? Do you prefer to be on top or does doggy-style turn you on more?
● What activities do you enjoy? Do you want more oral sex?
● Do you like roleplaying or playing dress-up? If so, what do you like most? Business suits and thigh-highs with stilettos, or quiet and shy librarian?
● What about your partner turns you on the most? Their cologne? Their kisses?
● Are there things you would like to try that you have not tried before? Maybe anal sex?
● Are there things you have done before that you do not want to try again? Like kinky sex?
● What would enhance the pleasure you receive and give? Is it a special touch, more moaning, or maybe more visual stimulation?
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Express Your Desires
Once you figure out the things you want the most, express those desires. Don’t hold back if you want to see your partner dress up for you, or if you want to try giving your partner a strip tease. Just remain open minded to what your partner suggests and see if there is anything you can do to accommodate the needs your partner brings up as well. If you both are trying to help enhance each other’s desires, you are both going to end up with more fulfilling orgasms than had you not communicated those needs in the first place.
When you openly talk about the desires you have, you are going to find out which of those desires your partner is able to fill. If you want your partner to go out of his or her comfort zone to make some of your desires come true, then you need to be willing to offer the same in return.
Working together can help you both achieve the best sex you’ve ever had, but you need to be able to put words to the thoughts and images you have running through your mind.
Don’t life your sex life in your fantasies. Make them come true with open communication and direct responses.